Do any of you know what real humidity feels like?

I'm fairly confident that I'm on the lower end of the humidity spectrum, however, I DO feel like I'm going to DIE.

Mike's Hard Lemonade did not cool me.

The huge fan blowing directly in my face did not cool me.

Jumping in a cold shower then quickly jumping into bed with a fan directly on me helps for about 5 minutes.

The prescription strength Naproxen helps a little bit. I have had a heat headache for the last 4 days.

If I had some Calgon, I would ask it to take me away.